Monday, May 10, 2010

Perhaps I should elaborate...

I think that this probably should have been my very first post. I would like to elaborate on what this blog is about. This blog is not your typical “girl” sex blog. I am not here to talk about the emotional and/or spiritual connection a woman (or man) feels when they have intercourse with their partner. This blog is not about “making love”. If that is what you are after, please visit the typical woman sex centered sites. The point of this blog is to talk about sex as an objective action, not a connection.

Sex and love accentuate each other, but that does not mean that they can not be enjoyed exclusively. There are plenty of people that just enjoy the occasional one night stand, booty call, summer fling, ect. Let's also not forget the couples that decide to wait till marriage for sex, and still have a loving relationship. There is a bad stigma attached to sex, implying that it is only something to be done with someone you are deeply in love with. That perception is simply wrong.

There are three main types of “sex”:making love, just sex, and fucking. Making love is when the main emotion The action of sex is merely a way to get as close as possible to that person and share an intimate moment with them, not necessarily to have an orgasm, although the lack of one may ruin it for many. Just sex is when you simply want to get off. You've had a stressful, long, exhausting day and you simply want to unwind. It's nothing special, not a whole lot of effort is put into it, you are just going for the goal. It's like coming home and wanting an ice cold beer, but you have to work for this one. And then there is fucking. This is actively wanting sex to an extreme extent. There are no thoughts of emotion or things that need to get done or how your day went. You want to fuck and/or be fucked. Bent over the couch, thrown on the bed, or taken on the kitchen floor. You want to feel that rush, the ecstasy, the adrenaline. From my conversations with friends and acquaintances, just sex and fucking tend to be flip flopped depending on the person. Also, there is a fourth subset that I suppose you could label as “fun sex”, although it could fall into either sex or fucking. This is where experimenting, fantasies, and sex with a lot of thought behind it comes into play.

For the purposes of this blog, it is to be assumed that I am talking about all of the above EXCEPT for making love. That is something that has more to deal with relationships than it does the act of sex, and therefore has no place in this blog. Relationships are much too complicated to be generalized, where as the act of sex is primarily the same for the majority or the population, with the exceptions of particular fantasies and fetishes.
So in the future, please do not assume that I am in anyway talking about “meaningful” sex, because I'm not. Love is an intimate thing that should not be cheapened by advice or discussion on a blog. You can do that with your shrink. I am merely talking about the physical action of sex and other sexual subjects. If you are looking for a blog about making love, google it. You'll find plenty. But not this one.

Monday, May 3, 2010


Nobody likes swallowing. Really, no one likes having semen in their mouth at all, let alone what happens to it after that. However, if you spit it back out like it's the worst thing you have ever tasted, you're going to undo everything you just threw out your neck for. Enthusiasm is the essential ingredient to being good at anything sexual.

Now, when I say enthusiasm, I don't mean bobbing up and down, cowgirl style, like you are sitting on a pogo stick. I'm talking about appearing as if you are wanting and even enjoying every single second of what you are doing. Of course, if you aren't enjoying your sex the majority of the time, you should probably talk to your partner about it. But if you are trying to please them, you had better make them feel as if you are loving every second of it.

Think about it. How would you feel if post orgasm, your partner stretched, and said “Ugh. Glad that's done with. Just one more thing off my errand list. Time to go unclog the kitchen sink. Oh, and by the way, you owe me one.” No matter what you are doing, whether it's their favorite position, performing oral, or doing that one thing that only ever happens on their birthday if they remembered your 2 year anniversary and bought you exactly what you wanted and pretended to like the gift you gave them, make sure they feel like you are enjoying it. If you act as if you hate every second of it, and let it be known that you only grudgingly do it so they will shut up about it, (like that threesome he's been talking about for the past 5 years) you did it all for nothing. They aren't going to enjoy anything they know you are only doing because you feel obligated to.

Even if it doesn't get you off, at least enjoy the fact that you're making their day. After they finish, they are going to think you are the best person they have ever known. And they'll appreciate the effort. Who knows, they may just return the favor. NOTE: If they don't return it that day, don't get upset. They are trying to appreciate an orgasm that they got to have without worrying about yours the entire time. You'll have your turn later.